My Magazines: FHM

Isa sa mga hobbies at past time ko ang magbasa at magcollect ng magazines. My big influence is my elder sister. Noong bata pa lang ako, tinitignan ko mga inuuwing magazines ng ate ko (sa kanya ako nakikitulog until I reached 13). Naabutan ko pa yung mga malalaking celebrity magazines na newsprint pa yung paper (if I can recall, it was MOD or WOMEN). Hanggang sa afford na niya bumili ng Cosmopolitan. Alam naman natin kung gaano kaliberated ang magazine na iyon kaya I had my first glance sa mga salitang tulad ng ‘orgasm’, ‘erogenous zones’, at ‘foreplay’. And I won’t elaborate further. Rated R. Haha .

Until I reached high school when I got more curious in magazines. At that time, it was the advent of FHM Philippines. First time to read it when I was with my high school friends at one of my classmate’s bedroom. While they were busy playing video games, ako naman umupo sa kama at kumuha ng kung anong mabubusisi. And there was his collection of mags. Just like my first sneak peek at porn, I was intrigued with the ‘vivid’ content of the magazine and became ‘delighted’. I can’t describe it in details but the details were enough to make me ‘whoah’. Bukod sa mga sexy poses every pages, I loved reading the jokes (particularly those green jokes), those sex confessions, funny revelations, and other stuff. And I told myself. Why couldn’t I buy FHM?

Naaalala ko parang bibili lang ako ng condom. I think I was in 1st year college when I had enough guts (but still nervous on the inside) to buy my first issue of FHM. I had to make alibi to my mom and convince my older cousin to drive me to 7-11 so I could buy something that I immediately need. Hindi ko maalala kung ano yung bibilhin ko talaga pero sariwa pa sa ala-ala ko na isinabay ko ang FHM magazine sa pagbayad sa cashier (plus, a Hershey Smore bar pala). Yung kahera wala namang pakielam sa akin kahit 17 years old pa lang ako nun. Siguro para sa kanya, I looked mature enough. Super excited ako habang pauwi (hindi ko mailabas sa plastic bag dahil baka makita ng ermats ko). Pag dating sa kwarto ko, kaagad kong tinanggal sa plastik na para bang regalo ko sa Pasko. Alam mo na ang mga susunod na pangyayari .

Hanggang sa bumili na ako paunti-unti. Bago umuwi ng bahay, every month after my class, dadaan ako sa magazine stall or sa convenient store para bumili ng magazine. Syempre, nakaipit sa mga college books ko or nakasilid sa bag ko para hindi mapagdiskitahan dito sa bahay. Pero I used to share it with my nephew whom I share the same age. Pinahihiram ko sa kanya. Hanggang sa nalaman ng mga kuya ko. Nakihiram na rin sila. Yung iba binabalik pero either sira-sira or may tupi-tupi or worse, parang nabasa. I hope dahil sa shower water yun. Pero ang pinakamasaklap ay yung hindi na bumabalik sa akin, lalo na yung favorite issue .

Pinakahardcore ako sa pagbili during the years of 2005-2008 because I had funds to purchase lalo na nung internship days. Throughout the years, I witnessed the improvement of FHM, from being a sleazy and mischievous one to a more than a sex magazine. Nakita ko rin ang pagdaan ng mga covergirls of the month pati ang mga Girlfriends of the Month. Madami akong natutunan from it aside from those challenging sex positions and how to avoid premature ejaculation (OK, THAT’S IT!). Yeah, I became more knowledgeable in fashion, technology, movies, literature, and other things that catered to male populace. Aside from exclamations of “I want to go to bed with her”, I found myself wanting to improve. Dito ko nadiscover ang appetite ko for fashion, thanks to Ana Kalaw (fashion editor ng FHM). This just tells that FHM is more than just a past-time for guys .

Sorry kaunti lang ang collection ko

Sabi ni ermats, itago ko daw ng maigi yung mga bold magazine ko haha!

Ang una kong FHM magazine na binili (Regine Tolentino, December 2004). I remember I bought this at 7-11 BF Homes Pque. Nagdahilan pa ako kay ermats ko na may bibilhin akong importante, pero dinamay ko na rin 'to haha!

My only annual FHM collector's edition. I only favor Diana Zubiri and Patricia Javier here. Di ko type si Andrea del Rosario And kusa kong nilagyan ng CENSOR para naman di ako batikusin hehe

1st FHM magazine na ninakaw ko sa mga kuya ko haha! And putek... ang hot ni Aubrey Miles dito kahit I don't like her attitude when she joined Survivor Philippines Celebrity Showdown.

My favorite FHM issue, dahil nasa cover yung favorite actress ko, si Angel Locsin! Super sexy niya no? This is my last purchase of magazine. Medyo tinatamad nako bumili kasi. Takte ito ang pinaka-iniingatan ko!

Recently, I somehow stopped buying FHM because 1) may ibang bagay na kelangan ko i-prioritize for budget, so I have to let go muna; 2) di ko trip yung ibang cover girls; and 3) I spend so much time on internet that I can already find things there.  My recent and last purchase is last year’s May 2010 issue with Angel Locsin as cover girl. Finally I have a copy with her! I lost my favorite September 2005 issue where she also appeared as cover girl, donned with a sexy racing outfit. At least nagkaroon ako ng May 2010 issue, at mas sexy pa si Angel . Medyo tinatamad ako bumili ng latest issues of FHM but I hope that I can bring back my enthusiasm. I missed buying Sam Pinto, Daiana Meneses, and Solenn Heusaff… the issues where they graced the covers.

I see my mags as my collection. I store it in a place wherein kids can’t reach it (sa dami ba namang bata dito sa amin haha!) plus para hindi makita ng nanay ko at sabihin ‘ITAGO MONG MAIGI YANG MGA BOLD MAGASIN MO!’ And bihira ko na lang ilabas sila kasi ayoko na namang mabawasan at masiraan ng copies. For the sake of this blog, I unearthed them from a secret hideout. Wala akong balak ibenta or ipamigay basta-basta. Probably I will pass my magazine to my son and tell him ‘anak, eto ang FHM noong binata pa ako.’ Ano kaya ang reaksyon ng soon-to-be son ko? ‘Tay, wala ka bang Penthouse dyan?’ Tarantado .

I wanna learn ifyou like reading (and collecting) FHM magazines. I’m sure merong ibang girls na nagbabasa rin nito. Share your thoughts.

 

Hot like Mexico, rejoice!

The Air Prince

Hot Coffee Ko (to the tune of Lady Gaga’s “Telephone”)

Inaalay ko ‘tong recomposition/spoof ng kanta sa mga nagdurusa ngayong Finals Week ^_^

*Nagtext si Beyondce kay Lady Gawgaw dahil manghihiram ng reviewer…

——————————————————————————————-

Teka, teka, pare… bakit ka nagtext sa’kin?
La akong reviewer, bakit mo hinihingi?
Wha-wha-what did you say, huh? “May test na sa Tuesday”.
Sorry, ‘tol. Di ko alam, walang sinasabi.

Walang sinasabi…
Walang sinasabi…
Sorry, ‘tol. Di ko alam.
Walang sinasabi.

Wait lang ‘tol, may defense pa ako the next day.
And deadline na ng project ko this coming Thursday.
I should’ve done these early, ako ay nagsisisi.
And now may eyebags na ako, mukha ng zombie.

Huwag muna, huwag muna, huwag mo ‘kong gagambalain!
Kita mo bang ako’y maraming gawain!
Layuan, layuan, layuan mo muna ako!
Di mo alam na Finals na tomorrow!

R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R…
Sana’y wala sa card(card-card-card-card-card-card-card-card-card-card)
Ay bwisit!(Shit-shit-shit-shit-shit-shit-shit-shit-shit-shit-shit)
Kay daming gagawin(in-in-in-in-in-in-in-in-in-in)

Oh my God, crammin mode na’ko.
Ubos na, 3-in-1 hot coffee ko.
Di ko na alam uunahin ko.
Ubos na, 3-in-1 hot coffee ko.
Oh my God, crammin mode na’ko.
Ubos na, 3-in-1 hot coffee ko.
Di ko na alam uunahin ko.
Ubos na, 3-in-1 hot coffee ko.

Hoy, itigil ang FB at Plurk, i-close na rin ang Twitter.
Utos na ni Mother, nakasuot ng daster.
I should’ve edit my paper ’cause this is a disaster.
Babagsak sa professor. Sorry, kitakits na next term.

Not that I don’t like you, I’m just super busy.
Nagkasipon, Nagkaubo, I need a medicine.
Sana’y konti lang ang tao sa MRT Station.
Today, I’m going home early ’cause I’ll be busy.

’cause I’ll be busy…
’cause I’ll be busy…
Tonight, I’ll burn the midnight oil
’cause I’ll be busy.

Huwag muna, huwag muna, huwag mo ‘kong gagambalain!
Kita mo bang ako’y maraming gawain!
Layuan, layuan, layuan mo muna ako!
Di mo alam na Finals na tomorrow!
Huwag muna, huwag muna, huwag mo ‘kong gagambalain!
Kita mo bang ako’y maraming gawain!
Layuan, layuan, layuan mo muna ako!
Di mo alam na Finals na tomorrow!

R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R…
Sana’y wala sa card(card-card-card-card-card-card-card-card-card-card)
Ay bwisit!(Shit-shit-shit-shit-shit-shit-shit-shit-shit-shit-shit)
Kay daming gagawin(in-in-in-in-in-in-in-in-in-in)

Oh my God, crammin mode na’ko.
Ubos na, 3-in-1 hot coffee ko.
Di ko na alam uunahin ko.
Ubos na, 3-in-1 hot coffee ko.
Oh my God, crammin mode na’ko.
Ubos na, 3-in-1 hot coffee ko.
Di ko na alam uunahin ko.
Ubos na, 3-in-1 hot coffee ko.

Hot coffee ko, m-m-mainit to.
Di ko na alam uunahin ko.
Ubos na, 3-in-1 hot coffee ko…

Hot coffee ko, m-m-mainit to.
Di ko na alam uunahin ko.
Ubos na, 3-in-1 hot coffee ko!

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*Try niyo mag sing-along with the instrumental music*